This Helped My Adult Friendships: Making And Strengthening!
A true friend shows love, no matter what (Proverbs 17:17).
A true friend gives heartfelt advice, bringing joy to the heart (Proverbs 27:9).
A true friend rebukes when necessary, but the correction is done in love (Proverbs 27:5–6).
A true friend influences, enlivens, and sharpens (Proverbs 27:17).
A true friend forgives and does not hold grudges (Proverbs 17:9).
A true friend is loyal (Proverbs 18:24).
A true friend helps in time of need (Ecclesiastes 4:9–12).
I've been reading this book recently called "The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins. If I'm honest, I started reading it to help me navigate some relationships that I thought were "off" because the other person just wasn't trying. I thought if I just "let them" have their negative feelings about me, I could move on and feel justified knowing that it wasn't ME, it was THEM.
Well, chapter after chapter showed me that it wasn't just THEM...it was ME that needed to take some responsibility for my friendships. The book also taught me that making and staying friends is definitely not as easy as when we were kids. And the reasons really made sense.
I realized I wasn't going out of my way to make new friends or even to keep up with people I had been friends with for a long time. And beyond that, I was blaming them for not keeping in touch with me! There's a lot more to the book, but I thought I'd share a couple of the things I've been trying recently to see if it helps you, too.
I've started asking people their names. Once you cross that threshold, you can feel like they are not strangers anymore. Then the next time you see them, you'll have already started a connection. I've also started asking more questions instead of being so eager to share some amazing (or annoying) facts about myself. You can almost always find something you have in common which is usually a natural connection to build on.
If your friend-making and friend-keeping skills could use a little polishing, give these a try! Who couldn't use more friends?
~Brooke
7 Practical Tips to Deepen Your Adult Friendships
1) Initiate, initiate, initiate
2) Be the first to be vulnerable
3) Share your struggles WHEN they happen, not after the fact
4) Fill silences with questions, not stories
5) Ask open-ended questions
6) Listen closely and ask “the second question”
7) Don’t weigh down new friends with expectations